In discussing why abusers abuse , it's clear that a lot of the causal factors behind these behaviors are learned attitudes and feelings of entitlement and privilege — which can be extremely difficult to truly change. Because of this, there's a very low percentage of abusers who truly do change their ways.

The church as political sanctuary in the Middle Ages is another good image. So too the family is a special place where God is encountered, a place where life is encouraged and nourished, and grows. It's a place where life is protected from the dangers of an aggressive and violent world around us.

The cycle of abuse is a four-stage pattern used to describe the way abuse often occurs. The stages—tension, incident, reconciliation, and calm—repeat themselves over and over again in abusive relationships that follow this pattern. Recognizing the warning signs is the first step to ending the cycle.