Lifestyle

Big Apple bested by Weird Coast wannabe in cuckoo ‘coolest’ city survey

Snore-gon.

A crew of self-proclaimed experts have audaciously named Portland, Oregon, the “coolest” city in North America — beating out the Big Apple by scoring higher on an eyeball roll-making list of metrics that include the number of vegan restaurants and “commitment to sustainability.”

That’s right — the brain-geniuses at gambling site Betway.com have declared NYC, with its cultural capital status, internationally recognized institutions and scores of world-renowned landmarks a second-rate city.

Even worse, the survey leaves Gotham trailing behind a weirdo-afflicted West Coast wannabe known for dystopian crime, rising homelessness, constant violence, niche appeal and the most overrated tourist attraction in the world.

And just what is it that makes a city “cool”? According to the highly dubious study, conducted by unnamed researchers — possibly too embarrassed to reveal their identities — it’s all about “diversity,” and things like nightlife and the art scene, according to Time Out.

Portland, Oregon neon sign
The study named Portland, Oregon as the official “coolest” city citing the amount of record stores, microbreweries, tattoo studios, vegan/vegetarian restaurants and thrift stores. Getty Images
Crowd in New York City
According to the experts at the online gambling site, New York City has lost its cool. ZUMAPRESS.com / MEGA

That, and — apparently — the number of pretentious beer halls, exhaustingly eco and health-conscious restaurants, fusty second-hand clothing stores and dusty music shops,

The study claimed that Stumptown’s 110 record stores, 188 microbreweries, 301 tattoo studios, 864 vegan/vegetarian restaurants, and 85 thrift stores make it superior to the Big Apple’s measly 99 record stores, 91 microbreweries, 388 tattoo parlors, 1089 vegan/vegetarian restaurants and 112 thrift stores, according to Time Out.

Rounding out the top five after Portland and NYC were Los Angeles in third place, Seattle in fourth, and Canada’s largest city, Toronto, in fifth, for “its diversity, multicultural festivals and world-class museums.”